so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
