So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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