kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
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