hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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