And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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