she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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