dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
