I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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