Kareoke will never be a sober sport
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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