I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
