Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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