those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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