i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
