Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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