I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
