I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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