Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We have so much sex to catch up on
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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