The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
