I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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