I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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