i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
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Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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