Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
