Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
