ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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