Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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