Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
