After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get the cat blown out
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I wear drunk well.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize