garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
