I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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