Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
