did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
