just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
