Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
