take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
