im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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