Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
