Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
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