I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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