it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
