wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
