yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
