yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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