I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
