It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
where am i from again
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
