I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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