I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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