i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
