Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
