After last night, I could never be a politician.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
