woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
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