I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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