tell your sister to shave her snatch
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
