I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
