My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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