Well douche your snatch and let's go!
everyone is single if you try hard enough
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
What a dumb baby whore.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
