that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Another day, another engagement, another cat
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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