Don't you send me to vm
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
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The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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