I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
my shit smells like andre
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Did I show you my penis last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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