Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
