Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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