I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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