so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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