My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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