Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
