I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
